When it comes to friendships, relationships, or client relationships I am always fair, honest, and direct about how I feel or what I have or haven’t done, but I won’t take responsibility for something I wasn’t at fault for and I won’t make myself small to allow someone else to feel important.
When people with big egos begin posturing trying to essentially make themselves feel superior to me, I find it transparent and laughable. Very few people reach a point in their lives where they HONESTLY don’t care what people they don’t know or find insignificant, think of them. It took me 30+ years but I got there and it seems to baffle people when I pay no mind to the ramblings of those I deem fools and egomaniacs. I REALLY don’t care.
People that meet me, Donovan Lord, for the first time often see me as kind and gregarious and confident, and I am those things. However, once someone tries to take advantage of that – which most people do try to do, I am not shy about standing up to them. I guess it’s human nature for some people with big egos to have small hearts (and often smaller brains).
However, I’m not a doormat and will stand up for myself in any situation, against anyone. I’ve never been afraid of anyone, not since I reached adulthood and realized that a bully is a bully whether they are bullying you in the schoolyard physically or bullying you as an adult trying to undermine or spread lies about you. So often times, when they see me as this doormat nice guy, when the other side of my Gemini personality comes out, the badass take no prisoners side, they feel like, “Who are YOU?” and are shocked at my defiance to their efforts. Basically, if you don’t want to see the dark side of my personality, treat me with honesty, respect and fairness and I’ll do the same. It’s really simple and I’ve never been rude, mean, or disrespectful to people that haven’t done that to me. It’s simply not my default go-to nature, it’s something that is brought out in me after giving the benefit of the doubt too may times.
The truth is that I like myself (how Stuart Smalley of me). It took me a long time to get to that place after all of the pain and heartache I have endured throughout my life (which you can read all about in my forthcoming Autobiography, by Donovan Lord), but as the Madonna song, Secret Garden goes, “…after all is said and done, the boots have come and trampled on me but I’m still alive, but the sun has kissed me and caressed me, and I am strong.” Damn right!